INTRODUCTION

What Are Chalk Talks?

Chalk Talks are short lessons that use stories from current and past sports headlines to focus on different aspects of personal or social responsibility. Each Chalk Talk includes a list of discussion questions that are designed to get kids thinking about the story's lessons and how its message relates to their own real-life situations. All Chalk Talk lessons fall into one of the following categories:

Who Can Use Chalk Talks?

Chalk Talks can be used by anyone. For example:

• Chalk Talks provide parents and children with the perfect opportunity to casually discuss concepts such as teamwork, sportsmanship, and commitment. Whether you're in the car driving to yet another practice, sitting around the dinner table, or playing catch in the back yard, any time can be Chalk Talk time.
  
  
• Coaches will find Chalk Talks a valuable tool for teaching players how to apply what they learn on the field to what they do off the field. If you want to be the kind of coach who takes coaching to a higher level - if you want to teach your players lessons they'll remember for the rest of their lives - then Chalk Talks can help you do it. All it takes is 15 minutes at the end of a practice to influence a life forever.
  
  
• The Chalk Talk format also makes them ideal for use by students and/or student-athletes (such as Debate or Key Club members) who are looking for interesting, topical subjects to sharpen their presentation skills.

What's So Great About Chalk Talks?

As a psychologist and athlete who has spent many years working with young athletes, I believe that the benefits of sports can carry over into many aspects of a youth's life. Through sports, children can learn such lessons as how to work together, how to be sensitive to the feelings of teammates and opponents, how to put the team's needs ahead of their own, and how to respect authority. But this kind of learning doesn't just "happen." It needs to be shown by example, encouraged at all times and taught at every opportunity.

Sound hard? It isn't - not with Chalk Talks! All you have to do to use Chalk Talks for Kids is:

1. Read the lesson to familiarize yourself with the objectives.
2. 2. Share the story (either by reading it or relating it in your own words).
3. Use the questions provided (or make up your own) to get the conversational ball rolling!

Chalk Talks for Kids helps parents, coaches and others reinforce the mission and values that are part of an uplifting sports experience. It provides a fun, easy-to-use format for teaching life success skills, and it enriches children's sports experiences by helping them understand how what they do on the field can affect their life off the field.

As all good teachers know, the kind of learning that sticks with children is learning that is lively and that can be incorporated into their everyday lives. What better tool for this kind of learning than sports!

Developing a Winning Attitude

Entire books have been written on the subject of how to develop a winning attitude, but I find the things that inspire me to have a more positive attitude aren't the "how-to" books. It's the personal stories of people who have faced major obstacles in their lives and have still managed to come through with a smile on their face and the knowledge that they didn't give up and they didn't give in.

A winning attitude is more than just positive thinking. It means persevering when the odds are against you. It means learning from the mistakes you make. It means having a direction in your life - goals that you want to achieve, dreams that you want to reach.
It is possible to be a successful athlete and still not have a winning attitude. I know, because I was that kind of person. I was a very successful athlete as a youth - CIF Player of the Year, Stanford All-American, and so on. And yet, because I was such a perfectionist when it came to sports, I never had a very positive attitude about myself.

It is also possible to have a winning attitude and not be a successful athlete. One of the stories I profile in this section deals with a young man who lost his starting position, but whose positive attitude never wavered.

As someone once said, "Failure is not the worst thing in the world. The very worst is not to try." I think too many people make the mistake of thinking a winning attitude has to do with winning. Usually, it has nothing to do with winning, and everything to do with trying. That is the message I hope young people will take with them from these ten lessons.

Mastering the Fundamentals

About a year ago, a friend of mine invited me to play racquetball with him. I'd never played racquetball before. Like all competitive athletes, I wanted to be good at the sport RIGHT AWAY, and it was frustrating when I wasn't. First, I had to learn the fundamentals of racquetball.

To be successful in racquetball, there are fundamental (or basic) principles, special techniques and strategies, and certain physical skills that must be mastered. I have divided these into four categories:

1. COURT SENSE. Some sports (baseball, football, etc.) require the players to run to where the ball is going. In racquetball, however, you're supposed to run to where the ball is going to be - which in many instances requires a player to run in the OPPOSITE direction of where the ball is going after it is hit. Confusing, huh? Before a ball can be hit properly, you have to be in the proper position to hit it, which means that you have to be able to judge where the gall is going to be when you get there. This kind of court sense is something that can only be learned through playing. Gaining experience with each bounce of the ball is really the only way to program your mind's "computer" so that it instinctively knows where the ball is going to end up.
2. THE OBJECT OF THE GAME. The object of racquetball (besides getting 15 points before your opponent) is to hit the ball where the other player can't get it or to where the only shot your opponent has is defensive. Most players who are just starting to learn racquetball think the object of the game is to hit the ball HARD. They think that's the way they will win. But most of the time, hitting the ball hard means it just bounces off the back wall toward your opponent for an easy kill shot. What you need to do is learn how to make dink shots, ceiling shots and half-speed passing shots, along with hard kill shots, in order to play effective racquetball.
3. HITTING THE BALL. Racquetball is a wrist game. Unlike tennis, most of the power of a racquetball shot (up to 160 mph by the pros) is achieved by a radically cocked wrist and a strong, whipping follow-through. This is true of forehand shots (which come naturally to most players) and backhand shots (which don't!). It is best to hit the ball with a stroke that parallels the floor and strikes the ball as low to the floor as possible. It is important to WAIT until the ball reaches the right position before you hit it. Beginners find it irresistible to hit the ball the instant they get to it - which means they usually hit the ball when it is too high off the floor. You need to learn to wait until the ball drops low enough to hit a strong, low shot which will stay low when it hits the front wall.
4. PRACTICE. The only way to master the game is to play it. Play with different people who have different styles so you can improve your game and determine which strategies work best for you with your individual strengths and weaknesses. The more you practice, the more competent you will become at the fundamental skills of racquetball. The more competent you are, the more confident you will become. The more confident you are, the better you will play.
   All these things I've just talked about don't apply only to racquetball. Mastering the fundamentals is important to any sport or any activity that you want to be good at. It's not always fun - in fact, most of the time it's pretty boring. But it's what champions do.
   

Maintaining Energy and Enthusiasm

During my years at Stanford, I was always the smallest starter on any of the major college basketball teams. I was only 5'8" tall, and never weighed more than 140 pounds. However, my greatest asset was that I had the world's worst case of "want-to's." I simply wanted to be successful in whatever I was doing and always worked harder than anyone else to get there. I considered every loose ball to be my personal property, and refused to give up any rebound without a fight. I firmly believe my success in sports is proof of what you can accomplish when you have energy and enthusiasm on your side.

Of course, it's one thing to have energy and enthusiasm and it's another thing to keep it going. Most kids are full of energy and enthusiasm when they first start playing sports, but by the time they reach high school age, as many as 75% of those kids have become sports drop-outs. Why? The biggest reason they give is that sports has stopped being fun for them. They've lost their enthusiasm for the game.

There are many ways to keep your energy level pumped up and your enthusiasm strong. Keeping yourself in good shape helps. So does making sure the goals you are trying to reach are your own, and not someone else's. But the number-one motivator is simply to enjoy what you're doing. I loved playing basketball. Forty years later, I still love playing basketball.

Einstein believed that energy was essence of everything. He was right. Energy is the fuel that keeps us going. When you combine energy with enthusiasm for what you are doing, you have one of the critical components to achieving success on the field, in the classroom, or in any other part of your life.

Trying New Things

During one of my games at Stanford, we were playing the University of San Francisco before the largest crowd on the West Coast at that time. I think there were about 18,000 people crowded into the Cow Palace to watch the game.

I was driving the baseline from the left side of the basket, which was being guarded by 6'10" College Player of the Year and future NBA Hall-of-Famer Bill Russell. Now remember, I was over a foot shorter than Russell. I knew that trying to score over him wasn't going to work. I also knew that passing the ball to one of my teammates probably wouldn't work, either, since all the defenders would be expecting me to pass.

What it came down to was that if we were going to make points on this play, I would have to do something unexpected. So, dribbling with my left hand, I headed for a reverse lay-in under the basket. As I went under the basket, I shifted the ball to my right hand and laid it down on the floor while continuing to drive under the basket for the reverse lay-in. My center, Russ Lawler, whom I knew I could always count on to be alert, calmly reached down (while all other eyes were on me), picked up the ball and put it in.

Had I ever done that before? No. Did I know it would work? Not for certain. But I took the risk and it paid off.

That's what trying new things is all about. It's about making things happen, rather than sitting back and waiting for them to come to you. It's about getting outside your comfort zone. It's about learning more, gaining more skills, taking part, plunging in, embracing new experiences.
As an athlete, the best way I knew to improve was to take a calculated risk - to try a new move on the court, experiment with a new shot, and so on. Sure, I could have failed (and I often did), but I had learned that taking risks and learning from them was the only way I could really progress in my performance.

Staying in Control

In a heated football game between two long-time rivals, a cheerleader for the visiting team celebrated his team's score by running back and forth in front of the stands waving a large flag. This didn't go over well with the opposing fans, one of whom chased after the cheerleader and tackled him. The cheerleader immediately began hitting back. All of this was captured on national television.

It seems to me that too many people these days use sports as an excuse to lose control. Athletes take chunks out of their opponent's ears; fans riot in the stands. What we sometimes forget is that sports is supposed to teach us how to stay in control - not lose it. In other words, sports teaches us that the mark of a true champion is the ability to control his or her emotions and actions in the heat of competition.

When I watch Christian, my three-year-old grandson, struggle to calm himself in the middle of a tantrum or outburst, I am reminded of how essential self-control is to our personal happiness and our relationships with others. Of course, we sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that if we let ourselves lose control ("let it all hang out"), we will feel better. Most of the time, that's not true. When Christian is screaming and yelling and crying, he's not very happy, and frankly, neither am I.

Staying in control doesn't just mean keeping your temper in check. It also means mastering the anxiety and fear that often comes with playing sports. It means staying cool under pressure, even when the game depends on you.

Anxiety has always played an interesting role in my life. Because I had such a tremendous fear of failure, I always prepared twice as hard as anyone else for a test or a game. Then, if we won the game or I aced the test, instead of feeling joy or satisfaction at my accomplishment, I only felt relief that I hadn't failed. In that way, anxiety robbed me of the enjoyment of success.
However, when I was on the court and it was crunch time, I was always able to keep myself together and not give in to the pressure. My concentration was more acute, my focus was better, and I was able to do what needed to be done. If only I had understood at the time the connection between sports and life, I would have been able to call upon my ability to stay calm on the court and transferred that learning to life decisions with greater frequency and success.

In the following lessons, I hope that young people will recognize the value of staying in control, understand the consequences of NOT staying in control, and work on concrete ways of taking charge of their emotions and their lives.

Making and Keeping Commitments

When I was a teenager, I injured my knee badly enough to require five operations and the removal of my knee cap. Numerous doctors told me that I would never play basketball again. But I still went to the gym each day with my leg in a cast and practiced shooting. That's how committed I was to basketball.

Success in life rests heavily on the decisions you make. And whether you make the right decision or not isn't as important in the greater scheme of things as the commitment you have to making that decision work.

For example, kids choose to play sports for all kinds of reasons. Maybe their best friend is on the team, or they think the uniforms look cool, or they think playing sports will make them popular, or they just want to "be like Mike."

So they join the team or sign up for lessons, and then the reality hits. It's a lot of hard work. Practice is boring. Instead of winning gloriously, they lose horribly. The next thing you know, the same child who swore so fervently that they would practice every waking moment of every day if only Mom or Dad would buy them the skates/cleats/racquet/basketball hoop is saying, "I want to quit!"

Sports is all about making commitments and sticking to them. You make a commitment to your coach, to your teammates, and to yourself. You commit to showing up, to working hard, and to putting your team first. You commit to being an example of sportsmanship and leadership. You commit to following the rules. You commit to not giving up, even when your team is behind by 70 points.

I think one of the most valuable lessons sports teaches is that success doesn't always come easy, and that you have to be committed to working for what you want. Whether you're talking about sports, school, work, or your relationships with other people, success has as much (or more) to do with commitment as it does ability, talent, or luck.

Being a Team Player

As a basketball player, I recognized the importance of teamwork to success. For example, one of my teammates at Stanford was a young man who went on to play on the 1956 Olympic basketball team. He was a good player, but in my opinion he was never a great player in any contest until he got his 15 points. So I would work my tail off to make sure he got his 15 points so he would settle down to the job at hand - which was winning the game.

However, when it came to teamwork off the court, I was more short-sighted. There I was at Stanford University - one of the most prestigious schools in the world - associating with individuals who would go on to do great things in business, government, and so on, and I didn't take the time to get to know them. My time was wholly consumed by sports and studying. I could have established friendships and connections that would have served my goals and dreams to this day, but I didn't even remotely realize that the people I met (or could have met) were just as important as my books and my basketball.

The ability to get along with and work together with others, regardless of how much you have in common or whether you like each other or not, is an invaluable ingredient of successful relationships. In this way, the values and benefits of teamwork go way beyond the playing field. The lessons have to do with interdependence, cooperation, balancing your ego with those of others, and learning about yourself in a supportive environment.

Sports give young people what is probably their best opportunity to learn how to be good team players. What these Chalk Talks will do, hopefully, is show them how to successfully transfer that knowledge to other areas of their lives.

Staying Balanced

Besides being a starting point guard, team captain and All-American, I was also only the third Stanford basketball player ever to hit the 1,000 point mark. At the end of my senior year, I was drafted by the Philadelphia Warriors. But instead, I decided to attend graduate school. Why? My main concern was that my identity had become all wrapped up in basketball.

I had always been a kid who was preoccupied with sports. After all my knee operations in high school, doctors advised me to pursue other interests. The only problem was, I didn't have any other interests.

It took me a long time to finally start thinking of myself as someone other than just a basketball player. It was a painful journey, too - one that I would prefer other young people not have to go through. That's why I feel it is so important for athletes to live a balanced life - to develop their social, emotional, intellectual, vocational and moral selves as well as the athletic part of their lives.

Of course, this isn't just my opinion. Numerous studies have been done that show that people who lead balanced lives tend to be happier than those who don't.

Unfortunately, the pervasive influence of the professional sports model - which says sports is all about (and only about) winning - has trickled down into our youth sports programs. Young athletes come to value winning over participation, learning, growth and development. Coaches and parents often encourage athletes to specialize in one sport or to put in countless hours of practice and extra work in order to win championships - and the scholarships that come with them. When that much emphasis is placed on sports, balance goes out the window.

The Chalk Talks in this section are designed to get kids actively thinking about why balance is important to their lives and what they can do to be more balanced individuals. That way, when the time comes for them to answer the question"Who am I?," their response will be more than "just an athlete."

Developing Personal Values

In the summer of 1999, 14 current and former UCLA football players were charged with illegally obtaining handicapped placards so they could use the handicapped parking spaces on campus. The idea of these big, strapping, perfectly healthy football players regularly using handicapped parking made a lot of people very, very angry.

Unfortunately, it's not the first time that athletes thought they could get away with breaking the rules, and it probably won't be the last. In our sports-crazy world, it doesn't seem to matter if athletes are convicted of rape, assault, beating their spouse or cheating on their taxes. As long as they perform well, the crowds will show up to cheer. What kind of message does this send to kids?

Fortunately, there are many positive stories to be found in sports, as well. There is the young man who refused to be drafted by the Oakland Raiders because his religious beliefs prevented him from playing football on Sunday. There is the college basketball player who lost out on thousands of dollars when he gave police information about a gambling scheme.

Statistics paint a grim picture of the ethics of American youth. According to a 1998 survey, nearly half of all high school students said they had stolen something from a store, and seven out of 10 admitted to cheating on an exam.

However, It is my belief that when used properly, sports can help children develop a wealth of positive values to guide and direct their lives. To do this, kids need to make a conscious effort to think about what their basic values are, and how important these values are to them. That way, when questions arise - on the sports field, in the classroom, or in any other situation - they don't have to stop and think, "What should I do?" They will already know the answer.

Strengthening Family and Community

One of the things that makes sport such a great teaching tool is the fact that almost everyone can relate to it. Whether a person is a serious or casual athlete, a some-time fan or someone who thinks nothing of painting their entire body in team colors, there are few lives that have not been touched in some way by sports.

Like no other social institution today, sports have the ability to bridge the distance between a variety of people: men and women, young and old, rich and poor. Sports provide us with opportunities to mend some of the painful fractures that exist in our culturally diverse world. They serve as a common ground upon which different groups can build mutual understanding. In addition, the increasing popularity of youth sports programs give families a chance to spend time together, getting to know one another and developing ties with other members of the sports community.

Talk to any ex-athlete, and he or she will probably say what they miss most about sports is the friendships they had with their teammates. Playing sports allows you to forge bonds and connect with people in ways that few other things do.

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't take as much advantage as I could have of the opportunity to create lasting friendships with my teammates. I was too worried about making the team and playing well to spend much time on relationships.

This final section, "Strengthening Family and Community," probably more than any other section of this book spotlights what is truly good and uplifting about sports. I hope that the stories will touch those who hear them; even more, I hope that they will make a difference in someone's life. I know they've made a difference in mine.