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Rethinking kids coaching from FamilyFun
by Gurney Williams III
Abby Hubbard had a problem. The
Fairfield, Connecticut 12-year-old was an avid
soccer player. Her father, Tom, shared her passion
to a fault. Whether he was serving as team coach
or just her self-appointed personal trainer, he'd
take his place on the sidelines and holler a steady
stream of advice, "Raving," his wife,
Chris, recalls, "like a lunatic football
coach at the Super Bowl." Says Abby, "I
pretended he wasn't there."
Then one day Tom found himself
coaching with another parent, a man who knew quite
a bit about soccer but very little about why kids
play it. At the end of the game, the man addressed
the team. "You guys are pathetic," he
began. "You should be ashamed of yourselves."
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"Watching him," Tom says,
"I saw myself." That's when Coach Hubbard
decided to sit down on the job--literally. He brought
a folding chair to the next game and forced himself
to stay seated. It's a practice he continues to this
day, much to daughter Abby's relief. The chair, in fact,
has become a physical reminder of what Tom now believes
is the key to successful participation in any youth
sport. Fun comes first--and everything else takes a
backseat.
Fun comes first. It would seem an easy
enough maxim to remember. Sure, we expect that playing
sports will teach our children important, even difficult,
lessons about winning, losing, and trying our best.
But, above all, playing games should be fun. If well-meaning
parents like Tom Hubbard have a hard time keeping that
in mind, is it any wonder kids like Abby get frustrated?
For a growing number of young athletes,
in fact, sports have become anything but enjoyable.
According to the National Alliance for Youth Sports,
some 70 percent of children in leagues quit organized
sports by age 13 and never return. "The number
one reason cited is that it stopped being fun,"
notes Michael Pfahl, executive director of the West
Palm Beach, Florida-based National Youth Sports Coaches
Association, a division of the alliance.
Considering that some 20 million kids
sign up for youth soccer, baseball, football, hockey,
and other competitive sports each year, that's a huge
measure of disappointment. And it's all the more tragic
in light of the benefits that kids can receive from
playing sports: enhanced self-esteem, physical fitness,
and an understanding of teamwork and fair play. "Anyone
who looks at that 70 percent figure should know it's
time to rethink the way we deliver sports programs to
kids," says Pfahl. "When you lose that high
a percentage of your clientele, any business would retool."
The question is, how? How can we make
sure the fun--and our kids--stay in the game? Here are
some winning strategies recommended by coaches, kids,
parents, and even reformed sideline screamers like Tom
Hubbard.
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